”, his voice broke a little bit.I had been so accustomed to seeing Ijaz as a strong, confident man that looking at him in this vulnerable state really tugged at my heart.”Oh Ijaz, it will be alright.” I said and put my hand on his shoulder. This was the first time I had touched him and even in that situation, a small jolt of electricity ran up my spine as I felt his taut muscular shoulder.He put his hand on mine and let out a sigh.”Sometimes I think I must have done really bad things in life and been a really bad person to deserve all this.” he said.”No, Ijaz. You are the most wonderful man I have ever seen. Life has just been unfair to you. You are too nice.”And I leaned forward and kissed him on his cheek. His musky aroma suddenly wafted up my nose and I kissed him on the cheek again and ran my hand up and down his back. He paused a moment and turned his face towards me. Our eyes met, and somehow it just happened. I leaned forward again and kissed him on his lips. He kissed me back.. "For now we're friends. I still love her. I just don't know if it is that kind of love." Have you ever been in that kind of love?" I thought I was. At one point I was all in with Tracy," I said, and then turned the focus of the conversation on her. "Why the twenty questions?" I guess I'm seeing what my competition is." I don't know what you think you're competing for. I'm nowhere near ready for a serious relationship. If you are looking for a commitment, I'm sorry. I'm not your guy," I said and I could tell this upset her. "Before you walk out on me let me lay my cards on the table. I like you Pam. I like you a lot. I would hate for us not to be friends. If you are not comfortable with what we have been doing I would give it up in a heartbeat to keep you in my life."I've just gone through too much to make a commitment, right now. I have some serious trust issues. I think if you are patient with me for say four to six years it might be worth it." Can I ask you one more question? Do you.
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